November's Upgrades

Ender's Game

Okay movie. Getting a little annoyed by these movies based on book series that have these non-ending endings. Just close out a movie and stop it with these cliffhangers that are extremely abrupt to begin with.

Thor : The Dark World

A major improvement from the first installment. I never thought Kenneth Branagh was a good director for Thor to begin with. Alan Taylor, who spent most his career directing episodes for some great shows such as Game of Thrones and Sopranos, should be a great model for the execs at Marvel. Being a very hands on studio in every aspect, can be very frustrating to directors who are used to doing things they're way and having majority of freedom, such as Sam Raimi, allegedly forced into decision made by Marvel in the Spider Man 3 production, which turned into a not so good film. Someone like Alan Taylor and many other tv directors who are more familiar with simply being given all tasks by producers and carrying them out to every last detail is pleasing. Going from world to world, the direction felt more focused on vastness. However, this movie does have the same problem as Iron Man 3 did with no clear villain. The "major" villain Malekith could have been any other foot soldier. Great Movie. Natalie Portman sucks, by the way.

Hunger Games:Catching Fire

One of the best sequels I've ever seen, even though the more of these films I watch, the whole novelty of this series seems completely pointless. But still very entertaining. The first Hunger Games was like a poor man's Battle Royale. While this one felt like the step child of The Running Man, or maybe it was just those outfits they were wearing during the games.

HomeFront

Well, it's about freaking time. Statham's Parker was instant trash. And Retribution was just an insult to my way of living. Only pleasing thing Statham did was showing up in the final moments of Fast and Furious 6, which is really nothing. Now, Homefront comes along and puts Statham back in business. Very enjoyable with an all star cast, bringing decent performances. Not so good, story wise. Slow pace in the middle of the movie, but when the action kicks up, it's worth the wait. 

OldBoy

 While keeping his directing style, Spike Lee does a great job of adapting this 'acclaimed masterpiece' for an American audience. I have not seen the original Korean version and don't really plan on rushing to see it either. Best film of November.

The Not So Scary October

Machete Kills 

Although not a horror movie, with Machete Kills' stylized B-movie feel, it's the closest I've gotten to this month. Unlike Once Upon a Time in Mexico, where Rodriguez's vast amount of characters completely engulfs the El Mariachi character, no matter how many characters he puts in Machete Kills, the main character is never left in the dust. The guest stars in these roles also deserve some credit for really taking their characters out there. The first Machete saw De Niro and Steven Seagal still trying to ham it up with the same old 'tough guy' act; Mel Gibson's goes nuts along with Demian Bichir. Also it's less preachy and 3rd grade-like messages about immigration issues than the last Machete, I was able to enjoy Machete Kills for all it's wackiness, which is my main reason for watching a movie like this. More Enjoyable than the first installment, however, maybe it's just now I'm starting to notice but Rodriguez has really shown his loss for creativeness in some degree, watching his repetitive antics.

Captain Phillips

 

If not a genre in itself, the 'Based on True Story' plot tags can sometimes be overwhelming by giving out  information about an event taken place, or sometimes the films are embellished to keep audience interest. It's rare to see a film that's based on a true story to give you the whole story, while at the same time giving you small notes so that you'll be drawn to finding out about the actual story yourself. Primarily due to Paul Greengrass' need to do whatever it takes not to bore his audience, Captain Phillips becomes a really good thriller, along with it's suspenseful pacing, engaging score, interesting perspectives from each character.

Escape Plan

This should have been Arnold's comeback movie. He's not the actual lead guy. More humbling role than a sheriff. Give this the release date of the Last Stand back in January. It would have been perfect for Arnold and maybe the box office revenue for this movie as well. Escape Plan has a feel of the small area of decent 90's action flicks, with it's low level action sequences, cheesy score, and like most 90's action flick, the overdoing of every possible thing you can do. With my lackluster feel towards 90's movies, which take up the least amount of space in my movie collection, if these two icons where in the majority of them, I probably would have a different opinion. I loved the concept of the Federal Bureau of Prisons employing escape artists to test the reliability of certain prisons, which was better than what I was expecting, just a prison inmate trying to bust out of a maximum security prison. Very good movie. Would have been even better if 50 Cent was left out of this movie. Someone please stop these music artist from being movies. 50 Cent plays a computer tech expert named Hush. I'll bet 100 bucks he came up with that ridiculous name himself. He shows no kind of computer skills throughout this entire movie; being a hard role to play begin with,looking like your trying to hack into a system, this is a absolute insult to Chloe O'Brien and Luther Stickwell. And out of nowhere he turns into this secret assassin who hides in the back of cars and tells people 'time to go to sleep', while not actually killing them. 

The Counselor

Like many people, after No Country for Old Men,  I anxiously go to see anything with Cormac McCarthy's name attached to it. The Counselor, McCarthy's screenplay debut, reveals: how McCarthy can create an this exotic looking movie through words, Ridley Scott's high regard for McCarthy's talent, and unfortunately revealing him as a obvious beginner of writing screenplays and being able to discern it from writing a novel, and acquiring an amazing cast.  Like most of the film industry, even though actors and actresses are the most heavily paid, their talents are not fully given the duly respect they deserve. Yeah, this movie was for the most part all McCarthy but I doubt this movie would have had such an impact on me if Michael Fassbender was replaced with Channing Tatum, Javier Bardem replaced by Hayden Christensen, and Cameron Diaz replaced by guess who? 50 Cent.

September Voyage

Riddick

 Vin Diesel has one the most interesting acting careers ever known. Here's a guy who was supposedly fill the shoes of the departing Schwarzenegger. Proving to audience that he can handle macho action flicks, with Pitch Black and The Fast and the Furious. Also, showing how well rounded he can be with a animated film, The Iron Giant. Then somewhere in between, a few wheels came off that wagon of his. I personally blame Babylon A.D. I know there's The Pacifier, but everyone can do a movie like that and make up for it. Babylon A. D. was his one his core genre and he failed, miserably. So, like everyone else, who believed they're careers were going to take off after the first Fast and Furious installment, but soon, discovering how awful they're careers were getting, Diesel returns to popular franchise. Now, back on top again, even though Dwayne Johnson has perfectly settled into the Schwarzenegger chair, while improving his acting ability along the way, Vin is still capable of setting his own stone, which he has done with bringing back one of the coolest characters in a sci fi movie. I've never seen Pitch Black and I hated Chronicles of Riddick, but now, with his revitalization, I had to check out Riddick and was really blown away. I love low-key sci-fi films that are more concerned about entertaining the audience with cool characters and action and just some over the top CG heavy, celebrity driven, dull looking garbage. Yeah, Gravity, I'm looking right at you. I enjoyed how it wasn't just all Riddick. Every actor had a chance to show off their character, like Katee Sackhoff, who's amazing. I even enjoyed Batista, although the face off between him and Riddick was a letdown. Cool Movie-but next time leave out the CG dog. That was terrible. It's okay when you bring in an actual dog and kill it off, because it does bring in a emotional reaction for audience. But why would I care about something that isn't real and on top of that just as hideous as can be.

 Insidious Chapter 2

Insidious:Chapter 2 is to Insidious as 1981's Halloween 2 is to 1978's Halloween. Doesn't top it's original, but at the same time just as good, which is very rare for horror films. Like Halloween's switch from horror suspense style to Halloween 2's slasher horror style, the Insidious franchise takes the same interesting step with switching from creepy, supernatural horror to more of a possession type horror film. Another thing that makes Insidious:Chapter 2 a great sequel is that it doesn't restart the story and use the same elements; it's more of an addition, which makes Chapter 2 a perfect subtitle.

Prisoners

Whatever happens throughout the last few months of this year. I will never forget 2013: the year I discovered just how weak an actor Hugh Jackman is. Mostly playing Wolverine throughout most of his career, it was really hard to find where Jackman lands as an actor. When I first saw the trailer to Prisoners, I knew that I will finally find out what this guy is really about. And did I ever. If there's any good I have to say about Jackman's performance is that it goes along the lines of my feelings towards this movie. Terrible. Jackman is playing this bible quoting, master hunting, super zombie apocalyptic survivalist, with his safety basement. Yeah, I know, how can a guy like this lose a child. Not to say that they way the children in this film were taken were reasons of complete negligence, but with a guy like this, it was a little strange. Also, I never saw where these traits were necessary for this character, even as he was torturing Paul Dano's character. Terrence Howard and Viola Davis were so inconspicuous I didn't see the point of them, as far as the casting of these two high quality actors goes. It was like they tried so hard to star stud this movie, because the script is nothing less but a thrown away episode of an police procedural tv show. Prisoners is decent during the first and second act, but the final moments is where this movie just completely comes apart. It tries so hard to be this grim tale and holds back momentum in every scene. On a good note, Jake Gyllenhaal was the only good thing about this movie. 

Playful August

2 Guns

Not since Lethal Weapon have I seen such a great combination of two actors. Unlike Bullet to the Head's uncomfortable chemistry between Stallone and Kang, 2 Guns puts the 'buddy' in buddy cop films. There's a lot of great comedic moments in this movie, as a consequence, vandalizes the action along with the rest of the plot. The makers of this must've been so gung-ho about getting Washington and Wahlberg on board that they ignored any sense of writing. Typical action scenes, good lines, funny-Okay movie. Somebody tell Paula Patton to stop trying so hard; it blows a awful performances.

Elysium

 Niel Blomkamp is becoming a true master of Sci-Fi. Cool visuals.Fantastic futuristic technology. Great performances across the board. With that said, this movie has a lot of issues, whether good or bad or some I just don't know. 1.Why is every single villain in this movie an ultimate jackass? Jodie Foster's scheming against someone that's scheming against her. All these guys need is an evil Bond villain haircut. 2. You really get no sort of perspective from the citizens of Elysium. There's just glimpses of them throughout film. 3. Now, this film having brought in issues of immigration, either this was Niel Blomkamp's way of showing how weak the borders are or something just ignored, but Elysium is the weakest space station in the history of Sci-fi flicks. No defenses against incoming aircraft. Intruders crash landing in to be cured then sent back to Earth after they got what they needed. Large amount of security personnel are machines, which seem to be easily programmable. Unless you have a man down on Earth, shooting missiles, your scot-free. I guess it could be worse, like the Death Star. 

 There's a lot of criticism about Niel Blomkamp's ability as a writer. I really don't see any justification in this. He seems more interested in directing then coming up with a A++ script. I can't think of any James Cameron movie where I can solemnly say, "this is profound writing". Still entertaining at the same time. 

 Kick Ass 2

 Great movie. John Leguizamo was a surprise. Too bad he stick around longer, which is more than I can say for Jim Carrey's over acting. Big letdown from Nic Cage to this guy. I love how this potential trilogy is turning into it's own thing. Even though it is another comic book movie, it feels really fresh.

  

Highs and Lows of July

The Lone Ranger

   I think I'm getting tired of Johnny Depp. Ever since he dropped out of the Whitey Bulger biopic for not being given his standard salary, it has been fully revealed that this guy has gravitated into the realm of actors, whom longer possess the craft and value of performing and just take on any crap just for a buck. Speaking of crap, The Lone Ranger was an effortless pile of garbage, that contained Disney's inability to abstain from they're immaturity of showing the Old West tragedies, such as Indian massacres. If this studio is going to constantly handle serious issues like these in the most innocuous ways, then they should just leave it all alone. I wish I could say that was the only problem with this movie but. So, when do sidekicks take the lead roles in films? When those sidekicks happen to be weird enough, to where, Johnny Depp can chew up the scenery and make that character even weirder, to the point where the protagonist is nothing more than just a side character. I would be simple to just ask why Johnny Depp didn't just take the role of The Lone Ranger, but an even simpler answer would be that The Lone Ranger isn't someone to goof off with, unlike Tonto, who Depp has no care for making a complete fool out of, along with the entire Native American culture. Absolute Garbage, plus why did I feel like I was watching Night at the Museum.

Pacific Rim

 Great, fun Blockbuster. Although, the Imax version was so underwhelming compared to Prometheus, the greatest looking movie ever in Imax. Other than Idris Elba and Ron Perlman, not really any standout performances. Don't know why didn't let Charlie Hunnam use his Australian accent. 

      RIPD

 

The Proposal, Safe House and The Croods. All three films received mixed to positive reviews, also all three were financially successful. Wolverine Origins and Green Lanterns. Both failures, critically. Both comic book films. Throw RIPD in that category, you got another failure. Message to Ryan Reynolds: hang up the tights and stay away from comic book movies. As a matter of fact, just stay away from bad movies all together. Reynolds is very similar to Jackie Chan. I remember seeing Rumble in the Bronx for the first time and just being blown away by this guy. I through my Bruce Lee collection to the side for space for Jackie, anticipating his next flick. Super Cop, wow. Rush Hour, great. Rush Hour 2, mmh good. Tuxedo, what the hell, man. It gets worse from then on. I first spotted Reynolds in Blade Trinity. Horrible movie, but Reynolds was flawless. Unlike Chan's gradual decline into disappointment, Ryan Reynolds just went head first and hasn't come up for air since. Yeah, Safe House was financially successful , but that movie sucks. Now, onto this, which isn't as terrible as you might think. However, the positives do not include Reynolds. Jeff Bridges along with Kevin Bacon steal the show, while Ryan's just dull. Some of the dialogue was very funny. Horrible visuals. Where did the 130 million dollar budget go? This movie's failure at even trying to be derivative to MIB just shows it's hopelessness. Wouldn't call this trash, but it's certainly is bad. Looking at Ryan Reynolds, I couldn't help but think this guy is a future soulless actor, playing in a traditional CBS sitcom with a laugh track playing behind him. Wake up, pal.

Red 2

 When I was going into this, I was hoping that they toned down all the old jokes, which they did. My feelings for Red 2 are about the same as the first installment, just a little better for this one. The chemistry between Bruce and John Malkovich really shine, bringing out the humor and great scenes. Lee Byung-hun and Neal McDonough are great additions to the movie, even though McDonough seems to playing like his Robert Quarles character from Justified, plus I think he wears the same suit as that character. Still, he plays a great villain. I wish I could say the same for the pointless Catherine Zeta Jones and Anthony Hopkins, who pays the price for trying to chew up scenery with such a pitifully written role. Who got him to sign up for this? Louise Parker and Helen Mirren were also great. Okay flick. Good to see Bruce Willis actually stayed awake during his performance, unlike A Good Day to Die Hard.                                                                                                                                                                                                                             The Conjuring

                                                                              

   Best movie of July. It's more than just a horror film. Whenever there's a World War Z, a Last Exorcism Part 2, or a ridiculous sequel to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre that just pisses you off, James Wan will come out of nowhere and take you by surprise. This guy really deserves the title of 'Master of Horror'. Can't wait to see what he has in store for Fast and Furious 7.

                                                       Only God Forgives

                                                                               

   Good movie by Nicolas Winding Refn, but not his best film. His approach to Valhalla Rising, which is pretty similar as far as artsy style, had a much more stable direction in it's narrative, while Only God Forgives was all over the place. This movie felt like the director was trying so hard to detach himself from Drive that he made a convoluted movie that even confused him.

                                                               The Wolverine

                                                                               

As I write this review, my opinions towards it are constantly changing. Hugh Jackman is a good actor, but he does not make a good Wolverine, except for the first X-men, when he's jacking up Cyclops, and his claws don't look like crap. It's amazing how after the first X-men the Wolverine claws get worse and worse. Going back to Hugh Jackman; I'm just tired of this guy, but like I said he is good and he gave it all, unlike the rest of the cast, mainly the two female Asian roles. Usually it's the under developed characters that can bring a performance down, but in this case, where the two roles are well written, but Tao Okamoto and Rila Fukushima are horrible actresses, who aren't really actresses but plain ole models who've been in a couple of flicks. I don't care how vulnerable you make Wolverine, this guy vs. a bunch of Yakuza thugs is really weak. Well, at least they're not as dull  as these ninjas, aka. poor man's Foot Clan. Michael Dudikoff's American Ninja, Ninja Assassin ninjas. Where were these cool, mystical warriors. I would say that the action scenes were great, if the trailers didn't show a glimpse of every action scene and left the uninteresting stuff out. Okay. A lot better than X men Origins: Wolverine. As popular as the Wolverine character is, he's only as interesting as the characters around him, which is why X1 and X2 were so good. You distance this character and he goes nowhere.

Fruitvale Station

 

Very interesting case that makes you want to learn more about it. This film's deliverance of this case to me is really the only good thing I say about this movie, which through the 1st and 2nd Act are just going through the motions just to set up for the 3rd Act. The performances are good but nothing that requires a push for an oscar nom. Whenever someone's getting a phone call, a blue cell phone screen pops up on the screen, which makes it look like a cheap T Mobile commercial.  Decent movie, but very overrated.

The Journeys of June

The Purge

Watching the trailer and viral videos of this film, you would believe that this would be the most viciously violent you would ever see. However, The Purge, surprisingly, compared to most violent movies, is sort of quiet, which it does brilliantly by having the most heinous acts implied and not revealing graphics, making the movie feel like it's blood drenched with savageness. I appreciated how maturely this movie was handled, with showing how the more times this event is performed the crazier people get. Great movie.

 

  

Man of Steel

 

 

Best Film of June. Michael Shannon took the Zod character to more depth than the cartoony performance of Terence Stamp. Laurence Fishburne was great, but I'm not sure why he came off as a editor for TMZ, instead of looking the part of a well respected newspaper company. Lose the earring, dude. Amy Adams has nothing on Margot Kidder. Then again, I can't really blame Adams'.  It just seems like anything with Christopher Nolan or Zack Snyder has poorly written female characters: Rachel Dawes, Catwoman (primarily just ruined by Anne Hathaway without assistance), and every woman in Sucker Punch. Although, the Faora character, played by Antje Traue was amazing; a lot of the time, outshines Shannon's Zod. Didn't realize that was her from Pandorum.

 

World War Z  

 

   

 

World War B. B for Bullshit. Brad Pitt is one of the few A list actors who can take on roles with leaving out their celebrity appeal, but this movie is all Brad Pitt, the celebrity. I hate when people take a lucrative sub genre like zombies and just take advantage of it just to throw out some crap like this.  It was like they kept getting confused whether they were the undead version of zombies or the infected '28 days later' style zombies.There's a poster with Pitt's character with a automatic weapon strapped over his back. He never really used any weapons at all. He really didn't do anything but go from country to country and say 'I need answers. I need answers. My family. My wife.'. Nothing. I thought I was going in to see an insane, Troy version, zombie ass kicking Brad Pitt. Wait. Where's the gore in this. Oh, it's Pg-13. Now, to think of it, has there ever been a Pg13 zombie flick. This movie missed out on the most important part of zombie movies, the human element. People are evil, when facing chaotic times. Zombies aren't the monsters in zombie movies. It's the depths human nature goes to survive, cope. And will someone please show Marc Forster where the zoom out button on the camera is. He showed the same fault in Quantom of Solace. During the action scenes, he's just too up close on the actors. Awful, irritating piece of trash, but I do enjoy seeing James Badge Dale get more roles.

May in Review

Iron Man 3

 Disappointed by the first two Iron Man film's, I would never have thought of seeing a third film. Then I hear Shane Black signs on as director. That, along with a convincing trailer, I'm in. Iron Man 3 is the best Iron Man film, but it still suffers, greatly, from the same problems in the majority of summer films. Weak child actor, a pointless character, and out of nowhere anxiety attack shenanigans. I hate when child actors are given roles that you would never see a real child say or do, especially when that child actor isn't any good to begin with. Rebecca Hall was totally pointless. I understand if you wanted to make the events from Avengers feel like such an impact on Tony Stark's life, but tossing in some cheap anxiety attacks, which were displayed in more of a humorous way than dramatic, was a terrible choice for this character. Great Summer flick- Just an observation, one of the sets look as if they were taken right off of Uncharted. Also curious about if they used the Mandarin the way they did, including the casting of Ben Kingsley, was to not disrupt Chinese box office revenue.

                                                          The Great Gatsby

One word. Horrible. Great performances with mediocre visuals, so some style and no substance at all. Actually, I'm being to kind on the visuals. One of character's mansion looked very flat, like a cardboard cut out. Every time I tried giving the film a shot, Jay Z music kept bugging my ears. I guess it didn't me hearing modern day music in a period piece like Django Unchained because of the way Tarantino shot the film, but The Great Gatsby is definitely a filmed period piece. It completely takes you out of the movie.

Star Trek Into the Darkness

   Star Trek Into the Darkness reactions, bad or good, should be a wake up call for J.J. Abrams with his nature of secrecy becoming consequential to his entire story. Much like M. Night Shyamalan with his love of twists. Although, unlike twists, marketing films with secrecy can be damaging to your box office in take. I think if this movie had marketed who the real villain is, it would be doing way better. Benedict Cumbercatch was amazing. Chris Pine and Karl Urban both stepped up their performances from the last installment. Zachary Quinto was good but written more comically, something like Terminator, which Arnold did a better job of handling it and keeping the role serious, but it doesn't work well with Spock. Fun movie.

                                     Furious. Fast. Drift Fast...Whatever 

Ride of a Lifetime. It's amazing how these movies get better and better as they go along. Just one problem.Amnesia. Amnesia storylines  should be forbidden from all movies.

   Now You See Me

     Louis Leterrier, the master of defying gravity and the laws of physics with Transporter and Transporter 2, showed his true skills with Incredible Hulk. Then falls victim to mediocrity action films like Clash of the Titans. Now You See Me falls in between Hulk and Titans due to strange pacing and having story that's taken way too seriously, which was meant to make this movie seem very smart, which is the real magic trick. Pretty Good film, but suffers from not delivering mindbending filming of illusions, such as Trance does with it's hypnosis theme. Just a simple movie, interesting enough to get some enjoyment from.

APRIL IN REVIEW

EVIL Dead

I have never seen a film so gory. So bloody. So demonic. And be so uninteresting. This straight to dvd- like added to the lack of fun I wanted to experience so badly from this movie.

  Army of Darkness was my introduction into the Evil Dead franchise. I watched this movie about twenty times before realizing it had previous installments. Headed to the nearest blockbuster, I rented Evil Dead and enjoyed it, going on to watch Evil Dead 2 as well.

  When I first saw the trailer for the new Evil Dead, I felt no excitement or disappointment. Then I saw this garbage and wish I had been a little more disappointed enough not to see it. Throwing out lines and putting in certain scenes just because they were in the original were the biggest flaws of this movie. Actually it was the moments that weren't in the original at all that kept me from walking out. 

I was hoping for something like Prometheus, in the same universe as it's predecessors but not a sequel nor remake. Instead it's just another weak update of a great horror movie. Pure Trash.

42

Great Performances all around, even though Harrison Ford went a little too far with his grandpa acting performance. A few corny moments. Pretty Good Biopic.

Trance

  

After seeing Danny Boyle's annoying Slumdog Millionaire and putting up with a trapped and isolated James Franco for 127 Hours , I was beginning to think this director had nothing left, until Trance, an amazing film that looks into the theory of hypnosis which perfectly goes along with Boyle's choice of camera shots, taking you back to the cinematography from Trainspotting. Great movie.

Oblivion

 This movie has better visuals than it does with storytelling. The longest exposition I've ever heard. Once the story start, it turns out to be an okay film but nothing special.    

                                               The Place Beyond the Pines 

An unusually structured movie with a clear view of a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd act and all three acts being very different from the other, which was the major problem with this movie. Act 1 is the actual crime drama, which is the strongest point of the movie. Act 2 switches over to a completely out of the ballpark police corruption storyline that is so cliche, making this the worst portion of the movie. Then the final act is where the story picks back up, however it still does not match the great beginning. I would have like this better if they kept this same type of storytelling but just had better execution with the 2nd and 3rd act. Pretty Good Film that could have been a lot better and for a personal note, add more scenes with Rose Byrne.

                                                                  Pain & Gain

The Best Michael Bay movie since Bad Boys 2. And at his most conserved with small action scenes replaced by an actually well written character driven movie. Wahlberg, Rock and Mackie all do great jobs of bringing these real life criminals on the big screen. This movie is identified as a action comedy genre. But it's more of a drama then anything else. It's the foolish acts of these criminals which is so outrageous that you can do nothing but laugh at them. Best Movie of April even though Bay couldn't resist his usual antics such as female super models working out in a gym with full on makeup.

March in Review

My birthday month. Good month of movies.

                                            Oz The Great and Powerful

James Franco sucks. Over the top performances. Cheesy expressions. It was like he was still doing his hosting job at the Oscars. Compared to Franco, the rest of the cast were pretty decent. The creation of Oz was spectacular. I don't know if it was the fact that Sam Raimi directs or not, but this really feels reminiscent to Army of Darkness. Unlike the meaningful chemistry around Dorothy and her companions, Oz is surrounded by annoying, badly written sidekicks. DECENT FLICK BUT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF ROBERT DOWNEY PLAYED OZ LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSE TO FROM THE START.

                                                         DEAD Man Down

Dead Man Down redefines the revenge, but not in a good way. This movie, although entertaining enough to bare, has the worst revenge story I've ever seen. If it wasn't for the cool opening of a gang of assassins led by Terence Howard, I don't think I would have stuck with film more than ten minutes. What's worse is that this movie doesn't just have one revenge story but two, and it's gets really dull, up until the money shot that involves a truck and house, which is the main reason for seeing this movie. After this movie, no one in film has any idea what to do with Colin Farrell. To be honest, after the one of the biggest bombs of last summer, Total Recall, which starred Farrell, I was really surprised to see this guy still getting work after his constant failures in the mainstream portion, especially when it comes to action films. He seems more fitting for the small screen. OKAY MOVIE, BUT FARRELL SHOULD QUIT WHILE HE'S BEHIND.

                                                         Olympus Has Fallen

Gerard Butler can kick some serious ass. Why isn't this guy a bigger action hero he should, instead of constantly trying to spread himself to romantic comedies, which are all terrible. 300, action, success. The Ugly Truth, rom-com garbage. Law Abiding Citizen,action, success. Playing for Keeps, rom-com, pure garbage. Can we stop with these action movies that try to relive the 90's with the pointless girlfriend component. Radha Mitchell plays Butler's wife, who's a nurse at a hospital only to have some connection to the plot. Why couldn't you just make a staff member of the President. Speaking of pointless, Ashley Judd plays the First Lady. Those enormously, goofy looking cheeks on the face of Judd was more appealing than her performance. Earlier, I would have thought this film would be the biggest misrepresentation of the Secret Service, but after recent current events, I find the absolute desolation of the Secret Service to be somewhat fitting. I didn't like the use of Aaron Eckhart, either the wrong role or just the wrong movie for him. And a couple of times I confused him for a secret service agent. ALONG WITH THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF CGI AND THE CONSTANT USE OF THE AMERICAN FLAG VERY FUN AND ENTERTAINING FLICK.

                                                                GI Joe 2

BEST OF THE MONTH OF MARCH. THE ROCK RULES. Now that I got that out of the way, Bruce Willis has done shit before, Hudson Hawk for example, but the more I think about the last Die Hard and it's ridiculousness of it's plot and title, the more I feel like I'm getting tired of ole' Bruce. Man, that's hard to admit. He just did that movie with such carelessness that it was a distraction for me to see him in this, especially being the person with thee worst written lines in this feature. If Red 2 fails, I don't know where to go from here.

FEBRUARY IN REVIEW

Welcome back, Walter Hill. It's great to see that he hasn't lost his cool, gritty style to action films. And much like Hill's work, Bullet to the Head suffers from a weak plot. Pretty Good Action flick.

Worst Die Hard since Die Hard 2. What were they thinking with slapped together work of garbage. It wasn't hard to tell this installment was just thrown together, with the February release, smaller budget, and being way shorter than all previous Die Hard flicks. The chemistry between Bruce and Jai existed but this movie was so fast moving with it's pointless action scenes, that it was over before they really had a chance to really show off the father and son relationship. So they tarnish this relationship with the typical father, admitting how he's never there for his son, and his son listening from a distance and all of a sudden they're the perfect team. So, they went from John Jr. pointing a gun at his own father, showing that these two had a really violent filled falling out, to being immediately family again without any real conversation going on. TRASH.

Typical haunted house movie, but instead of ghost and demons, it's aliens. About aliens. Are they or were they ever really scary? Maybe if I knew what they would do once your abducted. That whole probing theory is weak. This movie seemed like it was going into a new direction of alien conspiracies. Instead, it's just a that tries to build scares by  making wait and wait until near the end for the big payoff, which is worse. TRASH, FOR HAVING FOOLISH CHARACTERS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT FINANCES THAN A ALIEN INVASION.

He cries, he protects his family, he kicks ass. Best movie of February.

Trailers Trash

When I first got into movies, my main attractions was just going to see teasers and trailers. Watching a countdown clock go down to zero and Pierce Brosnan popping on screen announcing himself as James Bond for the Goldeneye teaser trailer, my cheeks raising so high that they touch my eyeballs and my face red as a strawberry with enjoyment. Most times I would just want to see a movie just because of the trailers of the future movies coming out. Now, it seems like those days are over.

   Movie Trailers, today, are nothing more than a mega commercial trying to sell you multiple products. You rarely hear original trailer music in previews. I've heard Kanye West's Power in so many trailers. I'm sick of Jay Z soundtracks. The worst is when the music isn't even a decent match for the trailer, such as the Clash of the Titans trailer using The Bird and the Worm. When I watch a sword and sandal genre flick, rock music doesn't come into mind. It's like the marketing team is selling the music of these artist more than the movie itself. Also, can we stop with these clips in almost every action movie trailer where someones jumping off a roof and time slows while they're in mid air, which was most likely made famous by The Bourne Ultimatum.

   I guess it could be worse. Like with the 70's, when you were shown full scenes that went on for almost 10 minutes, such as in the Halloween trailer, where almost a full chase scene was shown. The trailer for Godfather used flash clips, and some were spoilers. However, they did have complete focus on what they were trying to sell. A lot of trailers today just go all over the place and many of them follow the same dull ass formula. Please just focus and sell your movie and not music from popular artist or throwing in clips that are not meant for trailer view.

January in Review

                                                           


                                                      Texas Chainsaw Massacre
     What does Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D have that the other Texas Chainsaw Massacre films don't have? Well, there are no deaths by chainsaw or even a scar by chainsaw in this film. Most of the deaths are brought about by meat cleavers and car crashes. Everything in this movie is just so tender, from Leatherface to every other piece of content in this film. Even the gore is pretty tame for a R rated horror flick, almost like they wanted a Pg-13 rating. First of all, I never found Leatherface appealing as an horror icon. The more they made the more they got away from the ideal chainsaw wielding retard and into a zombie, Jason-like character. This version, which is a so called direct sequel to the original, creates a more sympathizing character with Leatherface. Almost like what they did with Michael Myers in Rob Zombie's remake, with revealing his childhood back story. All the many faults in this movie none are worse than turning this icon into a sobbing creature. Pure Trash!!!

                                     

Wankster Squad

Josh Brolin still playing the stern, dry roles like he usually does. Maybe he felt that he was still trying to play Tommy Lee Jones younger self. Ryan Gosling added swagger to his tone but nothing towards the rest of his performance. Anthony Mackie becomes Blade. Robert Patrick turns into a western, quick drawer. Michael Pena playing the role of "I'm just here for the Mexican jokes". Nick Nolte  playing a drunk police chief. This film is anything but based off a true story. However, the way these actors played their roles and the wackiness of everything else kept this movie from being awful. Sean Penn's character or any other character had any depth at all to make them into at least 2 dimensional characters. So they gave the 50's era a very unrealistic, flashy style. If I could go back in time, I seriously doubt people in that era sounded, looked and dressed like they did in this movie. It's looking more and more like Ruben Fleischer was a one hit wonder with his Zombieland. Okay movie, makes you feel like you just stepped into January, known as the dumping ground for B movies and just play duds.

                                            
Russell Crowe kept this movie from breaking under it's attempt to bring back the film noir genre. Pretty good effort, but few issues kept it from hitting on all cylinders. There's a pointless girlfriend arc storyline with Wahlberg's character that goes nowhere and is the worst part of this movie. Russell Crowe and Jeffrey Wright keep this movie from being anything below decent. Okay.

         
The Last Stand, the title of Arnold Schwarzenegger's new film, which should be his last stand in the movie business. This guy's done. You can see it in his big cracked face. His chunky, out of breadth, slow looking physique, and he's run out of one liners, so he says anything to try to make it sound cool. The failed attempt at a comeback does not mean Arnold no longer has a big fan base anymore. This guy lost his thunder way before he became governor. His last successful film, critically and financially, was True Lies; Eraser was also a big success, financially wise. Then came the slumps: Jingle All the way, Batman and Robin, End of Days, The 6th Day, Collateral Damage and Terminator 3, which I still believe is the weakest installment in the Terminator franchise. Could it be that his appeal was washed away already? And he actually believes that he could go somewhere with this low rate, direct to video garbage. There's hardly any Arnold moments til the near end. If this movie has any saving grace at all, it would every car chasing scene, fantastic. Pure Crap, Kim Ji-Woon, the director chosen for this movie mainly because of his great work on movies like I Saw the Devil, hopefully returns to filming in his country and doesn't become another John Woo.

I enjoy jump scares. Killing all sound and suddenly blasting all sound to create a reaction. If there's a reaction, that's all that matters.Wasn't expecting a fantasy horror, but should have known with Guillermo Del Toro attached to it. Okay movie, hopefully has an unrated dvd release.

Hansel & Gretel would have to be my favorite movie for the month of January. Just entertaining, fun, all I would expect from a movie with a poster like this. Cool flick.

One Question? Where is the action? This is Jason Statham. The most boring Jason Statham movie I've ever seen. Stop hiring Nick Nolte, unless the character is a drunk. Parker is absolutely the wrong movie for Statham. Not saying that without Statham this movie would have been better. Just a small miscast. Jennifer Lopez is terrible and adds nothing to the film. She comes in like 30 minutes into the movie, which you usually do with characters that have meaning. Her intro was just pointless and could have been left out of this whole movie. Michael Chikilis was fun to watch and I wish he had gotten more screen time. Trash.