January in Review

                                                           


                                                      Texas Chainsaw Massacre
     What does Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D have that the other Texas Chainsaw Massacre films don't have? Well, there are no deaths by chainsaw or even a scar by chainsaw in this film. Most of the deaths are brought about by meat cleavers and car crashes. Everything in this movie is just so tender, from Leatherface to every other piece of content in this film. Even the gore is pretty tame for a R rated horror flick, almost like they wanted a Pg-13 rating. First of all, I never found Leatherface appealing as an horror icon. The more they made the more they got away from the ideal chainsaw wielding retard and into a zombie, Jason-like character. This version, which is a so called direct sequel to the original, creates a more sympathizing character with Leatherface. Almost like what they did with Michael Myers in Rob Zombie's remake, with revealing his childhood back story. All the many faults in this movie none are worse than turning this icon into a sobbing creature. Pure Trash!!!

                                     

Wankster Squad

Josh Brolin still playing the stern, dry roles like he usually does. Maybe he felt that he was still trying to play Tommy Lee Jones younger self. Ryan Gosling added swagger to his tone but nothing towards the rest of his performance. Anthony Mackie becomes Blade. Robert Patrick turns into a western, quick drawer. Michael Pena playing the role of "I'm just here for the Mexican jokes". Nick Nolte  playing a drunk police chief. This film is anything but based off a true story. However, the way these actors played their roles and the wackiness of everything else kept this movie from being awful. Sean Penn's character or any other character had any depth at all to make them into at least 2 dimensional characters. So they gave the 50's era a very unrealistic, flashy style. If I could go back in time, I seriously doubt people in that era sounded, looked and dressed like they did in this movie. It's looking more and more like Ruben Fleischer was a one hit wonder with his Zombieland. Okay movie, makes you feel like you just stepped into January, known as the dumping ground for B movies and just play duds.

                                            
Russell Crowe kept this movie from breaking under it's attempt to bring back the film noir genre. Pretty good effort, but few issues kept it from hitting on all cylinders. There's a pointless girlfriend arc storyline with Wahlberg's character that goes nowhere and is the worst part of this movie. Russell Crowe and Jeffrey Wright keep this movie from being anything below decent. Okay.

         
The Last Stand, the title of Arnold Schwarzenegger's new film, which should be his last stand in the movie business. This guy's done. You can see it in his big cracked face. His chunky, out of breadth, slow looking physique, and he's run out of one liners, so he says anything to try to make it sound cool. The failed attempt at a comeback does not mean Arnold no longer has a big fan base anymore. This guy lost his thunder way before he became governor. His last successful film, critically and financially, was True Lies; Eraser was also a big success, financially wise. Then came the slumps: Jingle All the way, Batman and Robin, End of Days, The 6th Day, Collateral Damage and Terminator 3, which I still believe is the weakest installment in the Terminator franchise. Could it be that his appeal was washed away already? And he actually believes that he could go somewhere with this low rate, direct to video garbage. There's hardly any Arnold moments til the near end. If this movie has any saving grace at all, it would every car chasing scene, fantastic. Pure Crap, Kim Ji-Woon, the director chosen for this movie mainly because of his great work on movies like I Saw the Devil, hopefully returns to filming in his country and doesn't become another John Woo.

I enjoy jump scares. Killing all sound and suddenly blasting all sound to create a reaction. If there's a reaction, that's all that matters.Wasn't expecting a fantasy horror, but should have known with Guillermo Del Toro attached to it. Okay movie, hopefully has an unrated dvd release.

Hansel & Gretel would have to be my favorite movie for the month of January. Just entertaining, fun, all I would expect from a movie with a poster like this. Cool flick.

One Question? Where is the action? This is Jason Statham. The most boring Jason Statham movie I've ever seen. Stop hiring Nick Nolte, unless the character is a drunk. Parker is absolutely the wrong movie for Statham. Not saying that without Statham this movie would have been better. Just a small miscast. Jennifer Lopez is terrible and adds nothing to the film. She comes in like 30 minutes into the movie, which you usually do with characters that have meaning. Her intro was just pointless and could have been left out of this whole movie. Michael Chikilis was fun to watch and I wish he had gotten more screen time. Trash.